When it comes to improving your child's performance through extra practice, understand that in youth sports more isn't always better. In certain situations, additional practice can help kids improve their technical skills and gain confidence as athletes. I've seen kids with specific technical problems, like kids who weren't holding a racket correctly or throwing a football properly, improve and thrive with extra practice. But some parents go overboard. When a parent pushes a child to not only attend her regularly scheduled practices but also to practice more after dinner, on the weekends, or in the off-season, it can lead to burnout.
Kids go overboard with practice too. Kiley was a high school freshman who wanted to make one of Boston's elite crew teams. I would see the boats on the river and I would think it was so cool, she told me. She was told by the coach that to get a tryout she needed to have more upper body strength. Kiley started lifting every day. She worked out on her dad's rowing machine every night. But in the end, Kiley just didn't have the upper body strength to row competitively. The weight lifting exhausted her. She wasn't built for it. Her parents had to intervene and stop her from practicing. They did the best thing they could, they helped Kiley find a sport she was good at and more physically suited to. Kiley is now a senior and runs track on her university's team.
Here are three important factors to consider before encouraging, or allowing, your child to practice more:
˛ Interest level. Johnny's dad was sure Johnny would start to love golf if only he played it enough. He was wrong. The boy disliked the game even more. You can't force a child to love a sport by making him practice. If you have to drag your child to practice or force him to shoot baskets with you in the driveway, that's a good sign that your child isn't interested in the sport as much as you are. On the other hand, a child who seeks out additional play or practice on her own can benefit from the extra work. But the bottom line is clear: You can't force a child to be interested and enthusiastic in a sport if she's not.
˛ Energy level. Though we often think that kids have limitless amounts of energy, they don't. Kids get tired too. Kids today have busy lives. They have schoolwork and numerous activities and hobbies to keep up with. One dad I know encouraged his fourteen-year-old son to put in extra weight training time to improve his football performance. He built the boys a mini gym in their basement to make the workouts easier for him to fit into the mornings and the weekends. Rather than get stronger, the boy became exhausted and couldn't finish the season. This dad wanted to know what was wrong with his son. There was nothing wrong with his son except that he was lifting too many weights. He was too young to be maintaining such an intensive conditioning program, especially unsupervised. Parents need to be certain a child is physically capable of handling additional practice and conditioning, especially when they are ten and under and their bodies are not yet as strong as they will one day become.
˛ Natural Aptitude. Though it can be tough for kids and parents to accept, practice cannot take the place of natural ability. You cannot pitch a ball at ninety miles an hour unless you were born with the right kind of arm strength, aim, and balance. You can practice and practice in your backyard for hours every day, but you can't change nature. The important thing to remember is that every child has some athletic aptitude. There is a sport out there that she can be good at and enjoy. If a child is faced with relentless performance problems despite a lot of practice, what fun is she having? Parents need to intervene and steer kids to a better choice in sports. They need to send the message: You're not a failure because you've tried to play hockey. You have to try new things to find out what works and doesn't work for you.
reprinted from:
101 Ways To Be A Terrific Sport Parent
by Joel Fish, Ph.D.
Simon & Schuster © 2003